Thursday, May 05, 2011

Epilogue: TC vs. IM

Feb 9, 2010

[14:45] IM: oi
[14:46] IM: game
[14:46] IM: copy paste na
[14:46] IM: hehehe
[14:46] TC: hahahahahaha
[14:46] TC: diary ko yun noh
[14:46] IM: handwritten?
[14:46] IM: fax, gusto mo?
[14:46] TC: edi para narin akong nag nude photo shoot non
[14:46] TC: ungas
[14:46] TC: typewritten
[14:46] TC: e bat ba gusto mo
[14:47] IM: self loathing
[14:47] TC: ahah!
[14:47] TC: buti alam mo contents
[14:47] TC: hehe
[14:47] IM: haha
[14:47] TC: u might not be ready to know the truth
[14:47] TC: harhar]
[14:47] IM: at least one perspective to it, ok na ako
[14:48] TC: wasnt last night enoughj
[14:48] TC: parang i overtalked ata
[14:48] TC: pero you know wat
[14:48] TC: i wasnt conscious kasi of wat ul think e
[14:48] TC: i just became me
[14:49] IM: ayus yan
[14:49] TC: parang kulang lang after i recalled what happened
[14:49] TC: cute ng friend ko
[14:49] TC: kakasal na rin sha
[14:50] TC: sabi ko kwento
[14:50] TC: tapos she copy pasted her prepped story
[14:50] TC: cool
[14:50] IM: hehehe
[14:50] TC: title- STORY PROPER
[14:50] TC: sana ganun kadali for me
[14:50] TC: haha
[14:50] IM: game na
[14:51] TC: ur making my heart beat rise...wag ka magulo
[14:51] TC: 2 mins
[14:52] IM: haha
[14:52] IM: magbabanyo muna ako
[14:53] TC: take your time
[14:56] IM: ok na
[14:56] IM: game
[14:56] TC: ganto yon
[14:56] TC: lahat ng tao may knatatakutan
[14:56] TC: ayon sa isang librong nabasa ko
[14:57] TC: ikaw, may fear ka rin
[14:57] TC: yung akala mong kine-claim mong destiny mo, actually, fear mo pala sha
[14:58] TC: so i guessed you're prepping yourself up for your fear
[14:58] TC: di ito mula sa sinulat ko
[14:58] TC: intro lang
[14:58] TC: ayoko ma-judge
[14:58] TC: kasi ikaw ang hinusgahan ko sa diary ko e
[14:58] TC: what if...
[14:59] TC: you write something about it...a serious enrty
[14:59] TC: then we exchange
[14:59] TC: but
[14:59] TC: i read yours first
[14:59] IM: eh wala naman akong sinulat about it e
[14:59] IM: ikaw meron na
[14:59] IM: my memory isnt as good as yours
[14:59] TC: e kaya nga pinapasulat ka e
[15:00] TC: kala mo lang yun
[15:00] TC: daya
[15:00] IM: nagcoconsolidate agad ang events sa isip ko e
[15:00] IM: sayo, may himay pa e
[15:00] IM: daliiiiiiii
[15:00] TC: pilitin mo pako
[15:00] TC: im not convinced
[15:00] IM: haha
[15:01] IM: ive stopped writing
[15:01] TC: seryoso
[15:01] IM: di na ako nagsusulat for a long time na
[15:01] TC: :p
[15:01] TC: yup, same here
[15:01] IM: may diary ka kaya
[15:01] TC: nakakainis nga e
[15:01] TC: well, first entry in a looooong while
[15:01] IM: pinaka hirap ako is with narratives...mga kwento
[15:02] IM: and, as if maaaffect yung opinion ko about last night dahil lang sa sinulat mo
[15:02] IM: i promise to be honest
[15:03] TC: e ano ba opinion mo?
[15:03] TC: anong hhonest? about what?
[15:03] TC: IF i allow you to read it, magcocomment ka ganun>?
[15:03] TC: eweew\
[15:04] IM: o sige... hindi ako magcocomment
[15:04] IM: promise
[15:04] TC: di paron
[15:04] TC: parin
[15:05] IM: kung ano man yung reservation mo
[15:05] TC: ....?
[15:06] IM: if it's me commenting or whatever, dein na yun
[15:06] TC: kasi naman, in the first place, kaya ko sha sinulat, ang kulit niya sa isip ko. so i had to write it. lamo yun
[15:06] TC: nope
[15:06] IM: ya me too, kaso lang hindi ko pa alam kung ano ang iniisip ko
[15:06] TC: hahaha
[15:06] IM: sopas pa sya
[15:07] TC: corny
[15:07] TC: lay it down raw
[15:07] TC: game
[15:07] TC: knting input
[15:07] IM: help me out... pabasa muna ng sayo
[15:07] IM: ni hindi nga ako makachat ng maayos kasi im at a loss for words
[15:07] TC: for?
[15:08] IM: para akong amateur chatter
[15:08] TC: so expert ako
[15:08] TC: yesss
[15:08] IM: as in, hirap ang verbal facility ko, all week this week
[15:08] IM: hirap ako magexplain sa team mates ko and sa client when we visited them last week
[15:08] IM: kahapon, i was stuttering bad
[15:08] TC: not working
[15:09] IM: ni hindi ko maexplain kung bakit ako messed up
[15:09] TC: :)
[15:09] IM: i kept on saying "basta", as if alam mo kung ano ibig kong sabihin
[15:09] TC: ill give you phrases
[15:09] IM: wala akong thought
[15:10] IM: to give phrases to
[15:10] TC: ok, 1 paragraph
[15:10] TC: teaser
[15:10] TC: hehe
[15:10] IM: ano ba emoticon for sighing?
[15:10] IM: haha
[15:11] TC: di pwede lahat e
[15:12] TC: At the beginning, we were so uncomfortable. I had to massage my face for over smiling coz my cheeks were starting to twitch. I did that in front of him, signaling that I won’t wear any masks anymore. I told him that I was happy being with him that night. That I never thought that it could ever happen. But it did. And I’m honest in saying it’s a great thing to do… to finally sit down as friends and talk, really talk.
[15:12] IM: o... ok naman e
[15:12] TC: diary to
[15:12] TC: noh
[15:12] TC: ok ka jan
[15:13] IM: i mean, what's not to show?
[15:13] TC: i just jumped off the cliff
[15:13] TC: thats what i could show
[15:13] IM: nyeeee
[15:14] IM: baduy
[15:14] IM: i mean, kj
[15:15] TC: L-)
[15:15] TC: I wanted to share with him my theory of why he’s been shrugging off the idea of marriage, commitment and responsibilities that I gathered from his own words but I wanted him to know and learn it for and by himself
[15:16] TC: o:-)
[15:16] IM: i was meant to read that, kasi i wasnt going to text u, but you unintentionally rang me. and i asked whats up. i meant to ask about the ringing, pero apparently you didnt know about it and you said, you were writing about me. see... im destined to read it.
[15:17] TC: kahiya grammar ko
[15:17] IM: i wasnt supposed to know about it, pero you told me about it, then you hold back... asus
[15:17] IM: grammar lang yan :D
[15:18] TC: maybe in due time....
[15:18] TC: e malay ko bang napindot ko
[15:18] TC: siko ko yun
[15:18] TC: di daliri
[15:18] TC: maybe
[15:18] IM: bob's telling you to tell me na
[15:18] TC: im rambling
[15:19] TC: bob your face
[15:19] TC: gagu
[15:19] TC: takutin mo pako
[15:19] TC: question
[15:19] IM: seriously... i went to bob's wake to "ask" him, something in my mind.
[15:19] TC: bakit kayo nagsplit nung gf mo after me?
[15:19] TC: nasa states na ba sha nun?
[15:20] TC: what was the question>
[15:20] TC: ?
[15:20] IM: ya... we split kasi i couldnt handle the little space i was in
[15:20] TC: huh?
[15:20] TC: be honest and il be/
[15:20] IM: i don't know the question exactly... when i go to him dati, we just talk and ramble aimlessly, and I would accidentally resolve it
[15:21] TC: di ko gets
[15:21] TC: anong little space>
[15:21] IM: she made effort to be very involved in my life, when deep inside, i didnt want her to
[15:22] IM: because i havent experienced my own life then
[15:22] TC: really?
[15:22] TC: hmmmm
[15:22] IM: yup
[15:22] TC: anong involvement
[15:22] TC: wala na mukang mali theory ko
[15:22] TC: ayan. no more na
[15:22] TC: kwento ka nalang
[15:23] TC: #-o
[15:23] IM: like, for example... that was a time na my family just moved to the states. then she started suggesting things to change yung arrangement ng bahay. which irritated me kasi i couldnt feel that my house is MY house
[15:23] IM: things like that
[15:24] IM: eh, i want to know what you think. i want insight either from strangers or people i dont talk to that often
[15:24] IM: youre the only one i talked to about my problem with mahal
[15:24] TC: then?
[15:25] IM: then, what?
[15:25] IM: ano yung thinen mo?
[15:25] TC: then after the home makeover ...?
[15:25] IM: ah
[15:26] IM: my schedules
[15:26] IM: i could hardly go into my band thing
[15:26] IM: i should be home at a certain time to catch her online
[15:26] IM: my selfish self couldnt handle it
[15:26] IM: i had dreams for myself, but my time is for her
[15:27] IM: since wala sa sa harap ko, it was easier for me to just break it off
[15:27] TC: hmmm
[15:28] IM: malabo?
[15:29] TC: selfish
[15:29] IM: yup
[15:29] IM: i dont disagree
[15:29] TC: di pala encompassing conclusion ko
[15:29] TC: hehe
[15:29] IM: which is?
[15:30] TC: siguro i have to knit it further
[15:30] IM: what has been knit so far?
[15:31] TC: naks galing mag stir
[15:31] IM: stir as in lie, or stir as in move?
[15:32] TC: move
[15:32] IM: ah
[15:32] IM: go
[15:32] IM: move
[15:33] TC: ano nga ulit definition mo ng resp/marriage?
[15:35] IM: di sya definition, parang practical application/effect
[15:35] IM: pero naguluhan ko bigla, ano ibig mong sabihin?
[15:35] TC: ?
[15:35] IM: ah
[15:35] IM: naalala ko na
[15:36] TC: im reading my entry and i just want to clarify
[15:36] TC: bawal ka magatnong
[15:36] TC: ako lang
[15:36] TC: :D
[15:36] IM: pag kasal na, there's the law binding you, apart from your mutual understanding.
[15:37] IM: the law binds you forever, your mutual understanding binds you for the moment
[15:37] IM: di ko ma-take yung concept
[15:37] IM: short-term outlook pa ako
[15:38] TC: should you be mutual all the time? it seems like youre inclined to either look for one who'll never walk pass your drawing or never have it at all
[15:39] IM: dahil hindi sya concrete sa utak ko, so abstract and romantic ang perspective, which i dont trust. the uncertainty keeps me aback.
[15:39] IM: "never walk past..."
[15:39] IM: sorry, can't help it :D
[15:40] TC: there you fo
[15:40] TC: go
[15:40] TC: tsk\
[15:40] IM: sorry na nga e
[15:41] TC: isa palang yan
[15:41] TC: pano pa king
[15:41] TC: kung
[15:41] TC: tsk
[15:41] TC: umalis na yung tren
[15:41] TC: you missed it
[15:41] TC: umalis na yung tren
[15:41] TC: you missed it
[15:41] IM: ya
[15:41] IM: ok
[15:42] TC: hehe
[15:43] IM: so, game, ano pa sinulat mo?
[15:44] TC: I pressured him by saying first, kwento. Tell me your story. As I did that, I started telling mine instead. One of the important questions he asked was, do you know why I split up with you? I was great, I was confident, I was fine and then he asked me that. I didn’t pretend that I didn’t want to hear it after 10 years coz it might just burst my bubble and I might feel the pain all over again. But you know what?! I was even better after hearing it from him. Not that I didn’t know why, but that I have reconfirmed my conclusion that it wasn’t about me. His memory of what happened to me and to his other girlfriends was all HIM. I tried to remind him of the surrounding circumstances but he seemed to forget most of it, so I didn’t bother anymore. Coz you know what, I was just fine.
[15:45] IM: good analysis
[15:45] IM: i agree
[15:46] TC: :)
[15:46] TC: kahit na di ka nag-aagree...:)
[15:46] IM: if it was my decision, then it is about me. i always believe that.
[15:46] TC: i told you i na na-shake esteem ko for a while
[15:46] TC: kasi i was wondering ano ginawa kong mali
[15:47] TC: or if i loved you this much, you should have loved me the same
[15:47] TC: pano nawala
[15:47] TC: mga ganung effect
[15:47] TC: biglaan
[15:47] TC: then i analyzed and searched and so on...
[15:48] TC: then i found me
[15:48] TC: i kinda liked me
[15:48] TC: after you
[15:48] TC: coz the me with you wasnt me at all
[15:48] TC: or 25% of it
[15:50] IM: good to feel that no?
[15:50] TC: liking me
[15:50] TC: not always
[15:50] IM: liking you, with you as reference, not other people
[15:50] TC: i dont like me always
[15:50] TC: yup
[15:50] TC: we argue alot
[15:50] TC: :)
[15:50] IM: thinking na you're not other people and their decisions
[15:51] TC: me and myself....it DOES exist
[15:51] TC: seriously
[15:51] IM: yes
[15:51] IM: ganun na nga
[15:51] TC: meron akong idea noon ano sasabihin ko pag nag-usap tayo ulit e
[15:52] TC: pero di ko sha baon kagabi
[15:52] TC: nalimot ko na
[15:52] TC: i didnt care anymore
[15:52] TC: which was way better
[15:52] TC: im free from that shadow
[15:52] TC: kahit na i freed myself a long time ago, ngayon, may seal na
[15:52] TC: cool
[15:53] TC: and im super glad you're my friend now
[15:53] TC: everything's just so pure and clear
[15:53] TC: nice
[15:53] IM: closure
[15:53] TC: haha
[15:53] TC: freedom
[15:53] TC: from myself
[15:53] IM: haha
[15:53] IM: from and to
[15:54] TC: A+
[15:55] IM: ok na... i can go back to work na
[15:55] TC: i know
[15:56] IM: sige... later
[15:56] TC: that was my closure
[15:56] TC: and yours?
[15:56] IM: closure sa iyo? knowing that you're really ok na
[15:56] TC: no comment on your own thoughts?
[15:57] TC: you thought i wasnt all along?
[15:57] IM: ya
[15:57] TC: how long?>
[15:57] TC: eeew
[15:57] TC: mejo feeling ka lang ha
[15:57] TC: haba ng hair mo, sa kilikili
[15:58] IM: maghahanap ako ng mais, isasaksak ko sa ilong mo
[15:58] TC: e ang feeling ng dating e
[15:58] TC: amininin mo feeling ka
[15:58] TC: ay sobra
[15:58] IM: sinasabi mo pa rin yun?
[15:58] IM: haha
[15:59] TC: alin>
[15:59] TC: feeling
[15:59] TC: ?
[15:59] IM: aminin mo feeling ka
[15:59] TC: e word pa rin naman yun a
[15:59] TC: ows?
[15:59] TC: script ko sha
[15:59] TC: teka lang, last words>
[16:00] IM: ah
[16:00] IM: ok
[16:00] TC: gandahan mo
[16:00] TC: suklian mo ko
[16:00] IM: ah ako?
[16:00] TC: oo
[16:00] TC: noh
[16:01] IM: unprepared
[16:01] IM: and unfit
[16:01] TC: try
[16:01] IM: dahil ang closure ko sa iyo is only a step into another closure, which i have to work on, so wala pa akong conclusion
[16:02] IM: i dont feel free, again. and i have to figure it out
[16:02] TC: puzzle
[16:03] IM: yes
[16:03] TC: parang level 1 complete
[16:03] IM: ya
[16:03] IM: im seeing signs, pero i dont know how to read them
[16:03] TC: a hundred more to go
[16:04] TC: ah
[16:05] IM: youre a sign, and our closure was a sign, and sir bob was a sign, and a lot more
[16:05] TC: nanahimik na utak ko
[16:05] IM: astig
[16:05] TC: salamat ulit
[16:05] IM: ya... salamat din
[16:05] IM: log out na ako
[16:05] IM: thanks ulit
[16:05] TC: :)

Monday, April 04, 2011

Brand X

"Personality" as a psychological concept, as theorists of Filipino psychology would explain, is different from the local concept of "pagkatao". Personality is derived from "persona", Latin for "mask". It is a face. Something that one presents to others, and in effect, it is what people see.

Pagkatao, on the other hand, is more like an essence. Person-ness (albeit "person" is also derived from persona). It is something that exists despite what is manifested or seen.

I suppose you can deduce that the concept of pagkatao may also explain why Filipinos tend to forgive easily. A plunderer, a dictator, or a child rapist might have done something wrong, but if he is perceived to be good deep inside--his pagkatao is good--then it might be reason enough so he might be pardoned, or as what has been proven in recent Philippine history, to be even worth electing to public office or considered being buried in a heroes' graveyard.

*****

Guitar history lesson: The factory that makes guitars for Fender Japan was the same factory that made lower-priced imitations in the 70s to early 80s for Japan's domestic market. The factory made such good copies that people considered them to have better craftsmanship than the original Fenders made in the US. Their output was so good that it gave the original US-made Fender such a bad reputation; and to battle it, Fender bought it in the early 80s. It now produces guitars for Fender's domestic market in Japan.

You might hold your 70s Jap imitation with high regard now, but you realize that there will be some prestige that should be coming from the Fender brand (or at least by referring to it), and no matter how much better the craftsmanship your Jap copy has, you will find yourself explaining to others the greater value of craftsmanship over brand, but through time you will probably find yourself ignoring your guitar's intrinsic value, and maybe even find yourself considering replacing the decal on the headstock.

You force yourself to pretend. Brands do that to you.

*****

What would you feel if the person you loved told you that she wasn't being herself when you were together? That the person you loved--on whom you spent a lot of emotional currency; from whom you tried to base your entire identity; for whom you halved your life--wasn't her, but a mere personality of her, the one that shut her mouth up and made up stories, feelings and (gasp) realities so that she'd feel good about you feeling good about yourself?

I mean, it's like you got what you wanted, but you didn't get what you paid for. All of a sudden you realize that you were together for the feeling that the stigma of being together gave it--its brand--and not its intrinsic value.

And, you realize that all this happened in the span of a full 10% of your life expectancy. All that time. Wasted. Like withholding taxes in Philippine government, hoping that you'd get your taxpayer's money worth, but you know better that it will just go to modding some brat's Honda Civic. Like tithes going to the church, with full confidence that they will go to a noble cause, but you know better that it'll just go to cosmetic renovations. Like all that money spent on romantic dates just to get laid when you know better that you could've spent less on a whore.

But, like how Chris Cole found out that Bobby Beers was queer, it's bound to get funny soon enough.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

4/14/2001... I lost a knee

4/14/2001

I lost a knee
where could it be?
Been looking up and under
here and yonder
I lost a knee
where could it be?

I lost a knee
Took me to find
my elbow my shin
by buttocks my chin
I lost a knee
where could it be?
It could just be in
any joint in the summer

I lost a knee
looking for a hand
Scouring through fields
digging through sand
I lost a knee
where could it be?
I lost it just when
I’se about to run

I lost a knee
And no one had seen
I’d tell no person
I’d tell no bee
Nobody’s searching
for my just lost knee

It I were a knee
where would I be?
Under thighs and chests
and tables and desks
I’d be sittin’ and yappin’
ever the telephone

I lost a knee
where could it be?

Monday, February 14, 2011

Fear

Warning: I haven't written anything of length for a while now. I'm blaming Twitter, Facebook, diagrams, and concise business presentations.

Of course, not having written anything of length, in some way, was brought about exactly by this post's title.

[But then again, it might just be an excuse for writer's block (and what a huge block that was), lack of inspiration (writers exist because of the existence of pain, the lack of friends, or the regard thereof), or laziness (which is more realistic).]

Fear can be a lot of things. Fear is being (at least almost) certain of something unacceptable and terrible. In uncertainty, fear is expectation of the bad while desiring the good. Either way, it's like feeling the pain (that you hate) before the pain is inflicted.

For example, I felt that when I wrote on a public blog what I felt, it can be conveniently read and I will risk hurting and maybe losing someone that I loved. Which is, coincidentally, a perfect segue to:

Fear is having something to lose.

You have something that is threatened to be taken from you. Losing it will make you incomplete. Losing that something will make you weaker. Losing it will shake the foundations that form the basis of who you are. Losing will make you feel, well, lost.

Imagine a baby, thrust into a world it does not know, without that familiar maternal scent with which it had become first familiar. It cries with feelings it does not understand, but feels as real as physical pain.

Fear comes with vulnerability.

Once under fear, your instinct becomes defensive. You either fight or flee. You turn red or turn blue. You toughen up and fight the outside force or cry and calm the inside tension.

Or you just freeze.

You do nothing. You can't think. You can't decide. You're stuck. Your will defies you. Your reflexes defy you. Headlights are fast approaching and you don't know whether to run forward or turn back.

Everyone (EVERYONE!) will need some sort of back-up to counter fear. Your parents. Your friends. A big brother. A benefactor. The authorities. Ideals. A stronger self that you talked to like it was another person. Superheroes. A god. Karma. Hope. Heaven. Eternal life.

Fear penetrates so deep that even an illusion of a back-up will comfort it, like how a lost man will believe the first map he finds.

A defender, a fall back, or some twisted belief. Anything will do.

Then there's uncertainty. Yes, sometimes uncertainty brings comfort, especially if it is thrown to the wind.

"Bahala na" comes into mind. A common argument about "bahala na" is that it's fatalistic, submissive, and is an indication of weak character and lack of planning.

While the planning part might be true, "bahala" as a singular concept is so much more than fatalism and passivity. Zeus Salazar argues that "bahala" is such a non-fatalistic term, particularly when used in "ako ang bahala sa iyo". In this context, it is a personal readiness to take action and own the outcome of events, even for other people's sake. It is taking responsibility. It is exhibiting courage. It is sucking it up and dealing with shit like shit should be dealt with. It is Sylvester Stallone's patented war scream while he charges forward and wastes millions of bullets on random Southeast Asians.

It is ballsier than hope. Hope just hopes for the best. "Bahala na" doesn't fucking care. "Bahala na" doesn't just recognize the worst: it assumes the worst. It is attacking consequences head-on with a clear head and a ready heart. The "bahala na" mind is Buddha. The "bahala na" spirit is Robert Jaworski. The "bahala na" face is Judge fucking Dredd.

Or, as this cartoon puts it, it's a cute bunny.

I mean, whatever works. Without fear, you're down to like/not like. Bunny or bat, doesn't make a rat's ass of a difference.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Are you really happy?

Not too long ago:

Bob: Are you really happy?

Me: Does it really matter?


(Roberto "Bob" Mendoza, I could use you right now. RIP.)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Looking down

Looking down
From the twenty-seventh floor
Of an office building
In the middle of the bustling city
At nothing in particular
At night
Makes you see flying lights behave like beads in a kaleidoscope
Supposedly from cars until you realize
What makes them kaleidoscopic is that
Some of them aren't actually cars
On streets
Just reflections
On windows
Of buildings
Around the streets
Around where you are
Looking down
From the twenty-seventh floor
Of an office building
In the middle of the bustling city
At nothing in particular
At night

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Desperate Housewives and an anti-Pinoy remark

Radiant View Communication posts a letter by Kevin Nadal:

Alas, our medical schools in the Philippines are highlighted in a “Desperate Housewives” episode at ABC.com — and not in a good way. This time, it’s a racist comment about Filipinos and their credibility in the American medical scene. I don’t particularly care for “Desperate Housewives.” OK, I watched its first season, then shifted to “Grey’s Anatomy.”

My sister’s blog, AboutMyRecovery.com, has a video clip of this particular offensive scene, courtesy of the blog, “Mindy’s watching too much TV.” We had received many e-mails yesterday about this incident as well. Doesn’t this remind you of the Claire Danes and her “cockroach” comment about Manila?

Click here to view Radiant View Communication's entire post

Video clip:



If you think that the episode offended your sensibilities as a Pinoy, sign up at a petition here.


Monday, October 01, 2007

Vote CHUNAMI for Song of the Year @ NU107 Rock Awards

We never thought it was possible but it is.

You can vote for Chunami for Song of the Year in this year's NU107 Rock Awards.

Listen to Chunami on http://www.myspace.com/thehaneps.

Vote online. All you need is an e-mail address and 2 minutes. Minimum hassle registration, I promise.

To vote: Follow the instructions in this link: http://fliptunes.net/rockawards07/

Song of the Year is on page 8.

Procrastination kills. Vote now.

CHUNAMI!

PS. Vote for Radioactive Sago Project for Artist of the Year because they kick the ass the best.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Embers

In a furnace of coals, the last things to die out are embers
Emitting heat despite lacking the red glow of combustion
Little masses of carbon once again given life after their death
Much like how any fossil fuel usually digress from the path on which they rotted

Embers hide themselves in a coat of unsuspecting white ashes
Hiding from the soothing cool the external world can give them
Is it through being buried and unseen that makes them
Longer-lasting than the flames that once engulfed?

People wishing to kill the embers stroke the fire
A movement also done when getting it started, or maintaining the heat
Only this time they do it to expose the embers to water
Hoping that the embers can be seen, and be doused
Or at least that's what's usually intended.

What of the embers that are not touched, those that are not exposed?
What of the glow that they still possess despite outliving the flames?
Much can be thought about flames being forgotten, buried deep to live for ages, or forever; however,
Much more can be seen when the coal the ember sits upon runs out, as coal is programmed to do.